[Biome] Goblins for 5e-ish games

I've been thinking a lot about forest goblins lately.  You know how that is.

So...I guess I should start by just making it clear that I like goblins.  Quite a bit, actually.  This is at least partially a direct result of my loyalty to the lovable little troublemakers in Magic: The Gathering.  I really enjoy playing so-called 'typal' decks, and Goblins are probably the creature type that I've built around the most (with Merfolk as the only other group that could maybe mount a challenge for that 'honor').  Goblins have a great history in the game and a lot of solid cards that still manage to feel like underdogs due to their often tiny stats and goofy themes...even if we all know they're actually quite good within the rules and goals of the game...

For the most part, MTG's goblins fit a fairly standard fantasy model.  There have been lots of little green guys.  Over 30+ years of history, though, they have managed to mix it up pretty well...with a few quick examples being the turtle-like Akki from the plane of Kamigawa and the bipedal rodents who serve as snacks for dragons on the plane of Jund.

Which (sort of) brings me to forest goblins.  Creatures in MTG usually represent at least one of the colors of the game, and goblins are the iconic small creature type for the color Red (with the accompanying iconic large creature type being dragons).  Red is the color of chaos, emotion, fire, and lightning, and...perhaps most informatively with regard to goblins...its mana is found naturally in mountains.  This fits nicely, I think, with our regular association of goblins with mountains, hills, and caves.

There are MTG goblins that touch each of the five colors, and some of my previous blog posts probably reveal my affinity for the little guys all across the spectrum, including those that (perhaps unexpectedly) deal in Blue or White mana.  After Red, though, MTG's goblins are most common in the colors that serve as Red's 'allies'...Black (death from the swamps) and Green (growth from the forests).  And as with many aspects of fantasy fiction, I have often found myself drawn to the elements that reflect a connection to nature...which in the case of goblins, usually means they tend toward the feral and shamanic.  Here are a few of the cool gobbos that touch green:

Naturally (heh), I'd like to work some goblins into the gaming projects that are currently solidifying around my hopes and daydreams.  They've shown up in the Monstrous Matters campaign as part of a pretty key plot point, and there's no reason they shouldn't be able to menace the elite soldiers in UNLTD or the time-traveling Agents of SKA (time goblins?).  And there's one other very specific reason that I want to make some solid rules for forest goblins...which I'll get to soon...hopefully in my next post...hopefully.  As with many fantasy species, though, I think goblins lend themselves to categorization based upon their biome of choice...so it should be easy to have a simple setup for creating Forest Goblins, Swamp Goblins, Desert Goblins, and so on...

I have the Guildmasters' Guide to Ravnica and checked out the Goblin species there for some inspiration.  Also drawing from the Goblin's stats as a 5e monster and as an OGL species from Arcanist Press's More Ancestries & Cultures, I think a ____ Goblin that covers the necessary bases while allowing for some environmental flavor should be pretty straightforward.  Let's try this...

[Biome] Goblin

Forest goblin art by Paul Bonner, found via the Scent of a Gamer blog

_____ Goblin Traits

Speed: 30 feet

Ability Score Increase: Your Dexterity score increases by 2, and your Constitution score increases by 1.

Darkvision: Goblins typically have darkvision at a range of 60 feet; for some biomes, evolution may have led to this being lost or even replaced by a visual ability more useful in that environment.

Size: Adult goblins are generally between 3 and 4.5 feet tall; their weight can vary greatly due to a large range in how thickly they are framed.  Overall, they are usually classified as small.

Age: Goblins usually mature faster than humans, reaching adulthood and old age at earlier points in their lifetimes.  A 50-year-old goblin is a rarity.  Some groups of goblins may age at about the same rate as humans, but you will never find goblins that are as long-lived as elves or dwarves.

Languages: Goblins are fluent in the common language of the game world, as well their own particular dialect of the Goblin language. They are often literate in settings where this is feasible for a goblin.

Nimble Escape: You can take the Disengage or Hide action as a bonus action on each of your turns.

At HOME in the BiOME: You aren't just a Goblin.  You're a Mountain Goblin.  Or a Swamp Goblin.  Or maybe a Forest Goblin.  You may treat whichever biome you are from as favored terrain, with the corresponding bonuses granted to a Ranger with the Natural Explorer ability.

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Gnawgahyde (G.I. Joe) - Level 2 Expert

No fancy intros for this one.  I'm just getting down to business: cooking up stats for another figure from my shelf of random nostalgia...

Let's go with...Gnawgahyde, the Dreadnok poacher.  And maybe his pet boar Clyde as well...

Working for now with the basic building blocks of Warrior, Expert, and Adept, Gnawgahyde seems fine for an Expert.  If I get classes filled out nicely at some point, and I have a good Hunter/Ranger type, I guess he matches that archetype pretty well, but for now...Expert will do.

Here's his old file card...

From YoJoe.com

I'm not sure why we don't get any information on where he's from...unless it's just supposed to be so freaking obvious from his appearance.  This was before any of us knew of Steve Irwin, so Crocodile Dundee was America's greatest cultural reference point for Australia...and Gnawgahyde here certainly has an aura of 'villainous Crocodile Dundee' about him.  I think you can also argue that Gnawgahyde has Bayou Billy vibes, so I'll admit that I did have to do a quick search to confirm that his accent and dialogue also point to an Australian origin (vs. the rural American South).  And also...isn't it a little odd that his real name is so hard to come by?  From what I've seen, the only notable reference to it is on the file card accompanying his 2011 figure...

Also from YoJoe.com

Clyde "Gnaw" Hyde.  Hmm.  Okay.  Maybe because Naugahyde is a registered trademark?  (Side note: there's definitely something gameable in the Nauga, the creature whose 'hyde' is used in its production...)

Image from Wikipedia

And, isn't his warthog named Clyde?  Did he name a pet after himself...?  His figure from the newer Classified series has a warthog named Porkbelly (plus a macaque named Yobbo), so maybe there's a retcon at work here...

...

Well darn, what was it I was saying about getting down to business...?  Time to do that for real.  Then maybe I'll look around to find a replacement hat for my Gnaw figure.  (I'll get to Clyde a little later, too...)

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Gnawgahyde

Clyde "Gnaw" Hyde

Promo image from Amazon

Expert, Level 2

Human

Born: Australia, 1950

Occupation: Poacher

Affiliation: Dreadnoks

STR       DEX        CON      INT       WIS      CHA

16 (+2)  13 (+1)    14 (+1)   9 (--)   12 (--)  5 (-2)

HP 10   Move 30 ft.

Attack Bonuses: melee +4/+2, ranged +3/+1 (+6 w/two-handed small arms)

Proficiencies (Expertise***)

Saves: Dexterity, Intelligence

Weapons: All simple weapons, two-handed small arms***

Armor: Light armor

Languages: English, French, Swahili

Skills: Stealth, Nature***, Animal Handling***, Insight, Perception, Survival

Tools/Talents: Traps***

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Showing some appreciation for 'generic' character classes...

Because I'm really starting to appreciate them.  Quite a bit, actually!

I can remember when I first came across NPC classes in the 3.5 Dungeon Master's Guide (Warrior, Expert, Adept, Aristocrat, Commoner) back in...hmm, like 2003...?  I thought they were such a good idea that I immediately wanted to start making characters with them.  The Expert class, especially...I mean, why wasn't it already a widely used option?  It just seemed so versatile, and (personal side note, skip to next paragraph if that sounds terrible) it matched up with what I had as a sort of lifelong dream, to earn the right to be considered an Expert in one topic or another.  (It's why I eventually pursued a PhD...I was levelling up myself(!)...and arguably became just that, for one specific thing.  One beautiful, very narrow, practically worthless, conversationally tedious thing.)

I also liked that the DMG specifically highlighted the Expert class as one that may be worth promoting to the big leagues...to pull a quote from the SRD:

The expert could make a PC-worthy class choice, but only for those players willing to create a character focused on something other than a traditional adventuring career.

As someone who was pretty new to the ways of D&D and enjoying the chance to immerse myself in whatever class ideas I could get my hands on, this sounded awesome!  And then...I thought it was pretty cool when I happened to open the Sage miniature in a Dungeons & Dragons Miniatures Game booster and realized that they had actually made him an Expert, according to the full RPG stats that were found on each mini's card (on the opposite side from the skirmish game stats).  (I think, anyway...)

The Sage, from an eBay listing; I can't wait to see the other side of the card and be proven right.  Someday.  Maybe.

When I eventually realized (via the SRD) that the 3.5 book Unearthed Arcana also included so-called 'generic classes' (Warrior, Expert, Spellcaster) that served as amped-up versions of the NPC options...and I found out that the True20 system, right from its start in the original Blue Rose book, sorted every character into a similar tripartite taxonomy...I started to really take an interest in this approach!

I think that part of the reason I've become so drawn to these classes is that they're a fairly clean combination of aspects I like in some of my favorite RPGs.  I love D&D-style class-and-level gaming because of its history, its implementation of genre archetypes, and its interesting 'stories' that are told without any dice being rolled, just by internalizing the abilities of a specific class.  And I love West End Games' Ghostbusters (maybe my fave RPG ever) and many of the games it has inspired, as their straightforward attribute + skill mechanics are easily grokkable and contribute to a freewheeling tone where it seems like, somehow, 'normal' people fit in and anything goes when it comes to the adventure.

Dr. Peter Venkman's Ghostbusters stats; from the very helpful collection at Ghostbusters International

I like where generic classes sit in between these two approaches and have had them in mind a lot lately while considering the setting that shares a name with this blog, especially since I typically think about the Monstrous Matters campaign as some variant of 'Ghostbusters + D&D.'  And to a lesser extent, I like applying the generic classes to thoughts on UNLTD/POA/whatever I end up calling this 3.75-inch action figure skirmish game thingy I'm kind of working on...

So, let's see...

I have one spot in my home where I actually display action figures (other than the Lego minifigs that topped our wedding cake).  The lineup changes based on whim and convenience.  Here's a pic I took a few months back; I figure that eventually, I'm going to want to have all of these characters statted out for playing war, so I guess I'll start with that parapsychologist down in the lower right (next to Tars Tarkas) since I already have some 'official' numbers to base him on.  Seems like a good testing ground for an Expert class (and I certainly have no issue treating the Venkman of the first film as a Level 1 character!)...

(He came from the awesome Plasma Pack set featuring the entire 'busting quartet in 3.75" form, btw...a pretty awesome 48th birthday gift from the parents this summer...!)

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Peter Venkman, Ph.D.

Expert, Level 1

Human, 34 years old

Affiliation: Ghostbusters (the 'real' ones)

STR       DEX        CON      INT       WIS      CHA

10 (--)  13 (+1)    10 (--)   11 (--)   19 (+3)  19 (+3)

HP 4   Move 30 ft.

Attack Bonuses: +0 melee (expertise with unarmed attacks), +1 ranged

Proficiencies (Expertise***)

Saves: Dexterity, Intelligence

Weapons: All simple weapons

Armor: Light armor

Languages: English

Skills: Investigation, Insight, Perception***, Deception***, Persuasion***

Tools/Talents: Parapsychology

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Wishing you happiness on the American holiday that happens today...

Thanksgiving is kind of a tricky one, eh?  I mean...I don't think there's anyone out there saying it's a bad idea to take some time and reflect on the things you're thankful for in life.  And obviously, celebrations of the harvest have a pretty solid standing in the history of humanity.  But...over time (and potentially right from the start of the modern tradition, since it was apparently a bit of a propaganda move on President Lincoln's part), we've built a mythology around the holiday that is undoubtedly problematic when placed in in the full context of the United States' first couple centuries (and especially its treatment of the land's native inhabitants).

Now, I actually think that this mythology can be helpful, as we can build on aspects of it that we hold dear with a modern perspective and lessons learned over many more decades of the "American Experiment."  And I'm definitely not looking to hinder the holiday vibes of anyone who wants to take the opportunity on this one Thursday every year to appreciate their blessings.  Unfortunately, it seems that another tradition has developed among many Americans, in which any attempt to place the story of the holiday within an honest historical framework is treated as a challenge to America's core values (about which we also seem to agree less and less by the day).

And yeah, it's weird that the holiday's most enduring symbol is the turkey, whose role in the festivities is to become the main course.

Lincoln was also the first president to pardon a turkey, a tradition that was later ramped up by Reagan and enshrined as an official presidential act by Bush the elder.  This image (swiped from Roadside America) shows a monument to Jack, the bird spared by Lincoln in 1863.  I could really get behind a holiday that was all about pardoning turkeys...

Despite the fact that I'll probably never be able to unlearn the things that force me to see Thanksgiving as a nuanced American holiday (not that I'd want to unlearn pretty much anything) rather than a controversy-free celebration of how God has Blessed America, I'll probably always have a soft spot for a lot of the day's traditional imagery.  This can almost certainly be traced, at least in part, to a specific memory from 1982 when...fresh off of Halloween and apparently of the belief that every holiday should be a reason to cosplay at school...I decided to attend kindergarten dressed as a "Thanksgiving Pilgrim."

Sadly, no, I don't still have this outfit.

(And speaking of being thankful, I should be forever grateful for having a family that indulged my ridiculous wishes enough to help me put together things like this costume...)

In a way, I guess it is sort of a shame that I can no longer have a blind appreciation for what I represented in that outfit.  But...I also guess that's an inevitable result of being open to changing one's opinion as new information and perspectives are encountered.  I'm good with that.

Now, to shake off the seriousness and potentially invalidate anything of value that I managed to articulate, here's a silly RPG class:

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The Pilgrim

Image source

Hit Die: d12

Alignment: A Pilgrim must be of lawful alignment.

Proficiencies
Weapons: Simple weapons, firearms

Armor: Light armor
Saving Throws: Constitution, Wisdom
Skills: Religion (INT), Survival (WIS)

Borne on the Mayflower
At 1st level, you gain advantage on all checks related to seafaring.

"By God's visitation, reigned a wonderful plague..."

Also at 1st level, you gain advantage on all rolls to resist disease.

Signature Smoothbore

Beginning at 2nd level, you get a +3 expertise bonus and +1 to damage rolls when firing a musket or blunderbuss.

Image source

Blessed
Starting at 3rd level, whenever you roll a 1 on a d20, you may choose to reroll that die.  You must use the result of the reroll.

Ability Score Increase
When you reach 4th level, you can increase one ability score of your choice by 2, or you can increase two ability scores of your choice by 1.

Damn the Heretics and Horrors
At 5th level, you gain an enhanced ability to thwart the will of those who oppose your God.  This works as a Cleric's turn undead ability that affects not only undead creatures, but also creatures of any Witch or Warlock class.  You may use a cross or Bible as a holy symbol.  (As an action, you present your holy symbol and speak a prayer censuring your enemies. Each undead, Witch, and Warlock that can see or hear you within 30 feet of you must make a Wisdom saving throw. If the creature fails its saving throw, it is turned for 1 minute or until it takes any damage.)

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Geeky SKAturday: Arcade Allstars

After posting a couple weeks ago that JER's ska rendition of the Ghostbusters theme was a no-brainer inclusion for the nearly random collection of items that make up this blog, I knew that this band would also make an appearance before long.  When considering what angle to take in presenting them, however, I realized that the Canadian band Arcade Allstars are a great match for all that is Monstrous Matters, on multiple fronts:

1.  Just look at that album cover!

I knew there were tabletop gamers in the band after one of the members responded on Reddit to one of my nerdy ska threads (about either the Rudie class or the Agents of SKA...and in which I learned that they refer to their D&D party as the Arcane Allstars 😂), but they really outdid themselves with the cover of their recent album Destined 4 Disaster.  The band members themselves as the miniatures being used in a game by fantasy characters is just...well, basically I hate that I didn't think of it, and now I won't feel like I should use it on the off chance I have an album in need of a cover at some point in the future. 😅

2.  They belong on a gaming soundtrack

I've been meaning to post at some point about ska songs that would make up a nice soundtrack for gaming in the absurd world of the Agents of SKA, where ska bands travel through the timestream preserving its integrity for future (and past) generations.  D4D has a track that definitely belongs in that group:

My assumption is that the title is a reference to the character select screen of a fighting game...and perhaps specifically some edition of Mortal Kombat...

...and it's possible, in fact, that this tune is actually a cover of some well-known video game theme that I'm just not familiar with (as someone who hasn't invested much in video games since 1995 or so).  I'm assuming (there I go again) it's an original, though, and it definitely captures the feel of 1990s video game action.  It would similarly be a great background track for the daring exploits of the Agents of SKA.

3.  Superman makes an appearance

There was a time when songs referencing Superman were a feature on this blog (as much as just about anything could be called a "feature" here)...and the Arcade Allstars have (at least) one as well!  Here's a live rendition of "Blue Collar"...

4.  They've influenced a spell...

...or, as I call them for the Rudie class, a sound.  Filling out the potential repertoire of the sound-wielding adventurers that take part in an Agents of SKA campaign is something that I have unfortunately neglected, even while writing this year about the exact sort of RPG campaign where they would make the most sense.  So...here's one to address that, along with the song it's based on.  (And truly...no disrespect is meant to anyone with mutton chops, 44 years old or otherwise...!)

Mutton Chops

1st-level Sound

Range: Touch

Duration: 24 hours

One creature gains mutton chops and advantage on Charisma checks for the duration of the spell.  The target may attempt a saving throw if they choose; if successful, they only grow one mutton chop, with the side of the face determined randomly.  (If the target creature doesn't have a face, the mutton chops manifest as whatever seems like the closest analog possible for a being of their physical form.)

5.  I'm sure there's more...

Truly, I'm certain there is.  This crew appears to have a solid nerd core (although not to be confused with nerdcore, of course), and based upon the pleasant interaction I've had with their saxophonist Cody on Reddit, it seems that they may also be nice folks to boot.  I'd be surprised if this is the last time the Arcade Allstars come up on this blog...

UNLTD: The somewhat silly acronym that wouldn't die in my imagination

I love a good organizational acronym...usually a backronym (maybe?)...in my gaming.  From SLOP, to the CROwN, to BADGER, to the Agents of SKA, to...well, probably some others I'm not remembering...there's definitely an argument to be made that I've spent too much time playing with letters in my head for the purposes of organizations that don't actually exist.

In addition, those who have paid close attention to the RPG settings that have interested me over the years (no, I don't expect that to actually apply to anyone) will know that I have had a long-running fascination with applying the portal fantasy trope to my games.  The earliest expression of this that I can remember took place at my bachelor party back in 2011 (celebrated at Con Nooga), during which I DM'ed a short adventure built on the premise of an Earth expedition into a dungeon on another world.  Because I'm a sucker for a good acronym, I started out with the plan that the adventuring team would represent the United Nations League of Terran Defense...or...♬dunh dunh dunh♬...

UNLTD

By the time I actually ran the adventure, the org had changed into the Unaffiliated League of Terran Defense, or UnLTD.  Because that's...more rebellious...?  I'm not really sure, and I was never sure how to feel about that lowercase N (especially when I thought about logos), and I always kinda felt like a "League of Terran Defense" sounded more like the human protagonists in a kaiju story than what I was using it for.

Anyway, this idea would ultimately see publication in Fight On! #14 as "Agents of the CROwN," as the fictional team was redirected to the Council for Research on Otherworldly Narratives...also featuring Kelvin's clean and distinctive artwork...

Now, the Stargate reference that Kelvin brought into the mix isn't really something I had thought of, but it made so much sense and would go on to influence my thoughts on portal fantasy gaming quite a bit in the decade-plus since then.  I eventually realized that some variation of Stargate + D&D is actually a pretty common idea to pop up in online RPG discussions.  (This will come up again, gimme a sec...!)

So then, quite a while (more than 2.5 years) ago, when I was in one of my phases of thinking a lot about gaming with 3.75-inch toy soldiers, I started tagging my posts with "UnLTD."  I think I was zeroing in on that as a name for the ruleset, as the whole "League of Terran Defense" idea kind of seemed to work, and the name could imply the unlimited possibilities of gaming with the huge variety of 1:18-ish scaled figures out there.  But...somewhere along the way I hit on the name People of Adventure, which could be a tribute to Fisher Price's Adventure People (one of the OG toylines in that scale) and could be abbreviated POA...almost clever as the name of a game with action figures.

Recently, though...I was thinking about some of the figures I need to stat up for the game.  These are some that I think my Mom found at Dollar Tree and kindly sent my way...

And I couldn't help but get Stargate vibes from these.  And then, at some point, it hit me: The absolute LEGENDS among 3.75-inch action figures (for a lot of us, anyway) are the G.I. Joe and Star Wars lines...and isn't Stargate kind of a wacky combination of those two?

For whatever reason, now that I'm thinking about the figures that way, the name UNLTD seems pretty good again!  Why wouldn't the United Nations put together a League of Terran Defense to protect Earth from fantastic invaders (and potential invaders) from other worlds?

Yeah, that gun is something else...I'm gonna have to have a post on that, I think...

I think that UNLTD lives on...!

(As I always write when I don't know how to end things...more to come!)

Geeky SKAturday: Ghostbusters!

Relative to the amount of time I spend actually sharing things on here, I spend way too much time considering whether or not I should blog about random stuff I come across on the web.  In doing this off and on for almost 10(!) years, I've managed to bounce around enough topics to have a blog that's kind of about everything, and kind of about nothing, and kind of about just whatever's in my head at the moment.

But occasionally, I see something that I know I should share...AND that 100%...no, 110%...fits whatever it is I blog about.  It is this:

I've featured the work of JER from Ska Tune Network before on here (for Sonic and Pokémon tunes, if you're keeping score).  And this certainly isn't the first time this classic theme has been given a ska makeover (it obviously works well with a third wave ska punk treatment!), but it's definitely worth noting when the immensely talented ska evangelist JER takes a crack at it...