Happy Friday the 13th! Here's a minimalist, untested, overpowered 5e Slasher class...!

Hey, it's Friday the 13th!  I don't know that I've ever posted anything on here related to that most ominous of preludes to the weekend (other than pointing out a product or two that became available on the special day), so I figured I'd correct that now.

And with my mind on constructing a fantasy heartbreaker, it seemed like it'd be fun to see if I could put together a really simple Slasher class that fits the "trimmed-down 5e" vibe I'm working with.  So...here we go...!  I'm sure this has been done plenty of times over...and probably even somewhere that has been linked from this very blog, especially when you consider friend-of-MM and prolific game content creator Pun Isaac's penchant for slasher flicks, as well as the excellent horror material put out by his friends at Bloat Games.

But...I mean, that's not stopping me from making a fantasy RPG...so why would that stop me here?

Image from Wikipedia

The Slasher

Hit Die: d12

Proficiencies
Armor:  None...you don't need it.
Weapons:  Knives, machetes, chainsaws, hooks, gloves with metal claws...really, anything with a blade, a point, or a portion capable of bludgeoning someone.  And all improvised weapons, too.  (Not guns, though.)
Saving Throws:  Constitution, Charisma
Skills:  Deception, Intimidation

What are your character’s interests and hobbies? What have they done with their life up until this point? Choose one additional Skill and one Talent or Weapon proficiency to represent these.

Equipment
Begin with a set of campaign-appropriate equipment (per DM).

Unkillable
Beginning at 1st level, whenever damage would reduce your hit points to 0 or below, your HP instead become 1, and you lose one round of action.  At the beginning of the next round, you gain 1d6 HP.

A Slasher always regains 1 HP per 10 minutes of in-game time until their maximum HP is reached.

Or, y'know, if you don't feel like dealing with all the bookkeeping, you could probably just ignore hit points altogether...just make sure you occasionally take a story-appropriate round to regroup so those kids can get away...

Getting the Hang of It

At 2nd level, you choose one specific type of weapon to be associated with your infamy.  You get +1 to all attack and damage rolls using this weapon.

Two Beheadings Are Better Than One
Beginning at 3rd level, you can attack twice, instead of once, whenever you take the Attack action on your turn, as long as the attacks are each directed at a different victim target.

Ability Score Increase
When you reach 4th level, you can increase one ability score of your choice by 2, or you can increase two ability scores of your choice by 1.

They Had It Coming

At 5th level, you gain the ability to quickly assess any group of people and determine who among them would please a hypothetical audience the most by dying.  (This is determined by the DM; if there's no way of knowing which one of those folks is actually an arrogant MFer who makes fun of old people and probably tortures animals, determine this randomly.)  If you subsequently kill that character, you may immediately take another round of action.

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Have a great weekend, all!  Stay safe out there!

Related side note that this is the only place it'll probably ever make sense to share on here...where I live in Jersey, I'm near this state park and obviously think about a certain character every time I pass it or a sign for it...

Five categories of magic for a fantastically heartbreaking Mage

For my ongoing fantasy-heartbreaker-work-in-progress, I have now written out at least a first draft describing the magic types that Mages can choose from when they reach Level 2.

The current text for that section of the class description is below.  All thoughts and criticisms and questions and suggestions are welcome!

Image from the Super7 site

As a new spellcaster, a Mage is free to dabble in all types of low-level magic. At 2nd level, however, the Mage must choose a type of magic and its accompanying approach to spellcasting to shape their further development within the class. The magical classifications can sometimes run together, and it has been observed by many practitioners that each style has a pair of accompanying approaches that it appears to ally with most easily. The options include:

•  Arcane magic (alternatively: Esoteric, Metaphysical) – Arcane magic is learned through rigorous exercises and detailed study. It is capable of affecting our physical realm by manipulating the metaphysical framework that lies beneath. Practitioners of arcane magic are often known as Wizards.

•  Eldritch magic (alternatively: Profane, Diabolic, Demonic) – Eldritch magic relies upon the help of one or more entities from a realm outside of our own. The ethical motivation of a deity or other agent enabling Eldritch magic is often opposed to or incomprehensible within the framework of universal human morality, and may even appear chaotic from a human perspective. Those who wield Eldritch magic are often called Warlocks.

•  Impulsive magic (alternatively: Fervent, Elemental) – Impulsive magic is powered by the raw emotion of the realm, often intertwined with the supernatural urges of the very elements that make up the multiverse. Impulsive magic is often used by those we call Shamans.

•  Nature magic (alternatively: Worldly, Earthly, Terrestrial) – Nature magic is the supernatural expression of the will of the natural world. This will leans toward growth, health, symbiosis, and -- most of all -- balance. Nature magic sometimes seems elemental in nature but is more likely generated by the interactions of elements than by basic elemental motivations. Those who practice Nature magic are often known to others as Druids.

•  Divine magic (alternatively: Holy, Godly) – Much like Eldritch magic, Divine magic depends upon the assistance of a supernaturally powerful being that exists beyond normal human understanding. Unlike the magic practiced by Warlocks, however, Divine magic usually conforms to the values of traditional human religions. Note that this does not necessarily mean that all Divine magic is good; there are also aspects of it that restrict freedom, enforce conformity, and discourage creativity. Practitioners of Divine magic are often called Clerics.

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Geeky SKAturday: Hans Gruber and the Die Hards have a cheery message about the passage of time

Hans Gruber and the Die Hards are an Austin, TX, ska-punk band with an excellent name.

Image from Wikipedia

They've been around for more than a decade, but shamefully...shamefully, I say...I've only recently started to give them the attention they deserve.  They are...at various times, and sometimes all at once...frantic, catchy, and undeniably talented.

Ska-punk has a certain reputation among some people due to a heavy association of the genre with a specific sound and attitude exemplified by poppy SoCal outfits like Reel Big Fish in the '90s.  As I've mentioned before here on the blog, I like RBF quite a bit, and their fast, hooky brand of ska is part of what reeled me in to the genre as a whole (sorry about that one)...but I totally get how it's tough to take them too seriously for too long.  Hans Gruber and the Die Hards have some of that same irreverence, but it's accompanied by a different sort of silliness.  One that doesn't seem like it'll wear thin quite as easily.  I think they are, in a way, exactly what the genre needs.

I guess it's kind of hard to explain what I'm trying to say with that...so I'll just let the song speak.  This is a new recording of a song they first played several years ago, recently released on the EP Reboot, a split with the band Sgt. Scag.  I think it fits the time travel theme of these Geeky SKAturdays as a frank reflection on the inevitable end time brings to us all.  Here's "We're All Gonna Die"...

Interestingly, the Die Hards also have a tune on their 2022 album With A Vengeance that reflects on one's association with time, "Time, I Don't Want It Anymore"...

I don't find that one as catchy as "We're All Gonna Die"...but it definitely competes in the nihilistic flair department...

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Now, I'll talk RPGing for a second, so those of you who were just here for the opener, please feel free to head out.  I won't judge!

For those who want to talk gaming: I'm trying to figure out what sort of effects I want time travel to have on the characters in the game.  It stands to reason that moving through freaking time would have some effects on the travelers, eh?  Long term, short term, physical, mental, emotional...the whole range.

The flip side is that I don't necessarily want something that is absolutely central to the game setting (as the Agents of SKA protect the integrity of history by traveling its byways) to be too dangerous for the characters.  Then too much of the game is just rolling to see if you're hurt or killed by something you have to do.

For now, I'm just starting with something simple (maybe it'll need some additions later on)...

If characters travel five or more years through time in either direction, they must make a saving throw to determine if "timeline lag" impacts their abilities.  The difficulty is equal to 10 plus the log₁₀ of the number of years traveled.  (For game purposes, this can be estimated quickly by rounding the number of years traveled to the nearest power of 10 -- 10, 100, 1000, etc. -- and counting the number of zeroes in the result.  So, for example, 8,000 years would round up to 10,000, which has four zeroes.  Therefore, the difficulty of the saving throw would be 10 + 4 = 14.)

If they fail the saving throw, characters have disadvantage on all attacks, checks, and saving throws for one hour after arriving at their new point in time.

In many cases, time travelers do not get a sense that they are impaired until they begin attempting tasks that actually have a reasonable chance of failure.  Thus, referees may choose to make these saving throws in secret, letting players know the result only when their character makes their first roll.

Meta Monday: Doki Doki Panic and the greatest(?) NES game of them all

The article feed on my Google Chrome home page (do we call that a chromepage? and if not, why not?) shows exceptional insight when it comes to understanding what will get me to click and read.  I know a lot of us have had moments where it seemed like an algorithm channeled via our phones -- whether for ads, or news, or autofilling our sentences -- must have had access to our verbal conversations.  Occasionally, it seems like that access extends to my thoughts.

Yesterday, I was thinking about what I would like to post for Meta Monday today.  Realizing that my likely subject would lead me to talk about the 1988 Nintendo game Super Mario Bros. 2 (hereafter SMB2), I started thinking about where I could place it in my list of NES favorites.  Because it might be my favorite.  I know that the third entry in the series gets the most ink as the greatest NES game of them all, and the first is always referenced in Top X lists because of its immeasurable influence on the industry.  I never got a lot of experience with 3, however, and the classic Super Mario Bros. -- while certainly way up there for me (and maybe my favorite when it comes to setting) -- just can't QUITE compete with the upper, upper echelon of games in my memory (that'd be The Legend of Zelda, Punch-Out!!, Dr. Mario, and Double Dragon for anyone keeping score).

SMB2, though...it's up there.  So I definitely had a little "no way...!" go off in my head when this article (with this photo) popped up in my feed:

Darn you, Google...even your clickbait apparently works on me, because I should have known that the list would include #1 and #3, but my precious SMB2, which 11-year-old me paid an insane forty-five of my own 1989 American dollars for so I that could experience the adventures of Mario and his friends in the dream world of Subcon, is nowhere to be found.  Underrated!

The article isn't bad, though.

I got my NES for Christmas 1988, which was also the holiday season that SMB2 was burning through toy aisles.  I don't think I even laid eyes on a copy of it until that fateful day the next year when I happened to be at the right store, at the right time, to pay whatever was asked of me to get it into my hands.  There were aspects of it that really were revolutionary to me at the time.  Being able to select different characters, with different capabilities, just seemed brilliant.  You could play as a Mushroom Retainer!  And apparently, his name is Toad!  AND the princess FLOATS!!  It was worth every penny.

From this r/nostalgia thread

I don't think any of us knew it at the time, but it's a well-known Nintendo factoid now that Mario 2 was released in Japan as a completely different game, Yume Kōjō: Doki Doki Panic.  There are lots of internet sources that can provide a much better summary of this history than I am qualified to give.  (You can check it out its page at the Nintendo Wiki here, should you be so inclined.)  In short, though...it apparently began life as a tech demo that was influenced by -- and perhaps was even intended to be used for -- the Mario series.  It would then be developed in coordination with Fuji Television as a game accompanying their event known as Yume Kōjō '87 (Dream Factory '87).  When the game released in Japan as Super Mario Bros. 2 was deemed too difficult and not innovative enough to satisfy the American market, Doki Doki Panic was reskinned into a Mario game.

A character comparison between the two games; found this on Pinterest.  Many other changes are also documented here.

(A note before I forget: I would not be surprised if there's something about the presentation of the Arab family in Doki Doki Panic that, with the benefit of almost four decades' worth of reflection, is less culturally sensitive that many -- including me -- would prefer.  Not what I'm getting into here, although please feel free to let me know if you have any insight in this area!)

Now...what exactly makes it meta?  Well, even when we got the game here in the States, there was still a meta element to it, as the instruction manual's intro explained how Mario and his buds ended up in a world that he originally saw in a dream...

The whole manual is at the Internet Archive

In Doki Doki Panic, however, the meta stakes are taken up to another level, as the characters actually make their way into the Land of Dreams through the pages of a book!  Here's the game's intro:

(In a more realistic art style, that would actually be at least a little creepy.)

Visiting the worlds of the tales we tell...that's the guiding motif of these Meta Mondays, and I actually think that SMB2 -- and, even more so, its original implementation as Doki Doki Panic -- not only matches this theme...it also might be the greatest NES game ever while doing so.  It's definitely up there.  Although maybe I just need to spend some more time on SMB3.

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Now...because I'm doing a reasonably good job of keeping this a sort-of-focused tabletop gaming blog, let me tabletop-game-ify something from SMB2!  As I noted, I really dug getting the chance to play as different characters, and Toad was especially fun.  Not only was it cool as hell to play a Mushroom Person, but being the fastest and strongest also meant that he was great at pulling up shrubs to get coins that gave me a shot at extra lives.  Since I'm trying to figure out this Monstrous Heartbreaker thing...and since the species in the game will likely be VERY 5e-based (especially since I've discovered I even like 5e species builds in OSR-based games)...why don't I take a crack at the Toad (as a species) for 5e?  I'm sure it's been done already, probably many times, but maybe not this quick and dirty before...

Toad (the species)

Image by Shigehisa Nakaue, found at Wikipedia

Toad (Mushroom People) Traits

Your Toad character has unique traits based upon their (possibly) fungal origins and lifestyle.  (Remember, the mushroom cap is part of their head, not a hat...)

Ability Score Increase:  Your Strength score increases by 2. Choose one additional ability score to increase by 1.

Age:  Toads seem to age at about the same rate as humans.

Size:  Adult toads are generally 3-4 feet tall and weigh around 40-50 pounds.  They are usually classified as small.

Name:  Toad seems to be a really common one...but don't let that limit you!

Speed:  Your base walking speed is 35 feet.

Loyalty:  Toads have advantage on all attack rolls against an enemy who is engaged in combat with one or more of their (the Toad's) friends.  They also have advantage on all ability checks and saving throws related to tasks that will save a friend.

Languages:  Toads are fluent in the common language of the game world (often English), but are also sure to know at least one other language that originates somewhere in the Mushroom Kingdom.

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This month's post about compensating for lifelong underachievement by fighting with elemental creatures on digital cards

Last month, I shared a summary of my efforts to prove my worth in the first season of ranked competition for the Pokémon Trading Card Game Pocket mobile game.  I think I'll make this a monthly habit for as long as the game occupies a significant portion of my free brainwaves.  It's still a fun diversion, very much worth the minimal investment of free...and probably worth more than that, although I enjoy the added challenge of being "free to play" (F2P, as they say).  I also don't have a ton of pocket money to throw at Pocket Monsters at the moment, so it suits my budget well!

To recap: In the first season of ranked play, I managed to hit the highest category (excluding those who do well enough for a numerical ranking), that of Master Ball, with a deck using Weezing, Weavile, and Darkrai.  It performed pretty well against the ubiquitous and overwhelmingly hated deck known as Darktina (running Darkrai + Giratina), and I was happy to reach "the top" with something other than the format's bogeyman.  My win rate was a whopping 50.1%.  I was at peace with my skill level.  Now, I just needed to repeat this effort in May.

In Pokémon TCG Pocket, ranked seasons start the day after the release of a new set, and the metagame was sure to be shaken up for the new month of play.  Two cards in particular were set to scramble the established order of deck power: Rare Candy and Oricorio (Pom-Pom Style; images from Game8)...

Without getting too far into the weeds of trying to explain why these cards would change things so dramatically (to the extent that I'm even capable of doing so), I'll just summarize the main phenomenon each one was expected to bring about:

    1. Rare Candy would allow decks running Stage 2 Pokémon to operate faster, thus keeping pace with decks that run only Basic Pokémon.

    2. Oricorio would hinder decks that relied only upon what are known as ex Pokémon (which are more powerful but punish their player more when knocked out).

Darktina...the reviled monster of the April meta...runs only Basics and relies on ex 'mons, so it wasn't expected to have the same power in the new environment.  As anticipated, it was much rarer to come across an opponent playing Darktina on the ranked ladder than it was by the end of the previous season, when it literally seemed like a majority of players were wielding that hated beast.

I tried all kinds of decks this month.  I'm gonna guess...oh, somewhere between 10 and 20 different deck archetypes saw play under my handle.  I started out okay (and luckily only dropped down a couple of levels from my finishing position last season)...but bit by bit, I got worse and worse.  After 100 games, I had a 52% win rate, clearly not stellar but better than I fared in April.  Before too long, I found myself at 120-145-1 (45.1%) and without much confidence that I would improve.

So...I embraced the beast.  I decided to play Darktina.  Here's the deck that I would eventually settle on (you can see by its name that I wasn't exactly proud of the choice):

And I'll be damned if I didn't go on a 40-20 run to hit Master Ball.  After floundering around for 266 games with a losing record, it just took me 60 games to hit my goal.  I don't know how my skill increased so much, so quickly... ;)

This exercise convinced me that Darktina was still the best deck in the format...and I'm not sure it was really all that close.  (I expressed this on Reddit, and...wouldn't you know...it wasn't met with resounding agreement.  It's pretty interesting how attached players can get to their favorite decks...!)  It still fared well against decks running Rare Candy because those decks depend upon having the right combination of cards to "go off."  If they hesitate, Darktina is ready to pounce.  And it fared surprisingly well against the little yellow birdie by chipping away damage with Darkrai and carefully employing trainer cards that force one's opponent to switch out their active Pokémon.  I think I probably won some games I could easily have lost if my opponents had just decided to not play other 'mons to the board, forcing me to deal with an Oricorio that I couldn't damage through attacks.

Another brand new season started today, and I think I'm gonna have to go for the hat trick and shoot for Master Ball a third time.  One day, it'll actually be enough, and I will have proven to myself that I have what it takes to be mediocre and persistent enough to regularly earn the little Master Ball icon.  One day.

Now, if you've taken the time to look through this post...even to just skim it...I really appreciate it!  And I have a question: What about this type of post would make it more interesting and worthwhile to you?  Normally, I don't really worry about this very much, because I just enjoy posting my nerd thoughts, and I know that there's a set of folks who are likely to read them because they share some interests with me.  However...this isn't the sort of subject matter that generates much interest among those who frequent RPG blogs, so if I can do something to make it better fit the blog's very loose "theme" (which I already stretch regularly with Geeky SKAturdays), I should maybe give it a shot...!

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With that said, I shall now turn this into a more normal Monstrous Matters post by statting out a monster.  Specifically, I'm taking a look at Darkrai, since it's appeared in both of my final ladder decks so far...

From Game8

Darkrai is honestly a pretty cool 'mon.  It's considered Mythical but may or may not actually be a unique being.  And it causes nightmares.  It might even feed on dreams, which is a trope I'm pretty sure I've encountered before, but it still seems badass.  And to add a sympathetic angle, it seems that the nightmare generation might actually just be a defense tactic rather than something done to intentionally bring pain to others.  (If you're interested, you can read more about Darkrai at Bulbapedia...!)

Darkrai

HD 4 (14 HP), AC 12

Weakness: Grass

Ability: Nightmare Aura - All creatures near Darkrai (including other active Elemental Beasts) must make a WIS save each round or take 1d6-1 damage.

Attack: Dark Prism +4 (2d6+2 darkness damage)

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Next up for my fantasy heartbreaker: The Mage!

I'm really doing it!  I'm plodding forward with my fantasy heartbreaker!

(Those sentences were as much about positive affirmation as they were about exposition.  But really...I think I'm doing it...)

I introduced a minimalist Warrior class a couple weeks ago.  Now it's time to take a look at those who choose to wield magic.  Alongside the Warrior, there shall be...

The Mage

I don't think I've ever shied away from making it obvious that my view of fantasy is heavily influenced by Magic: The Gathering.  One of the most interesting aspects of the magic employed in MTG lore is the balance of five colors, each with their own goals and methods.

From the MTG Wiki

I really don't know that it can be overstated how elegantly brilliant this cosmology is.  While I know that colors of magic and a circular grouping of elements is a whole trope in itself (one that I played around with consolidating earlier this year), the MTG color wheel has been a robust foundation for both the mechanics of the game and the philosophical underpinnings of the game's world for more than 30 years, and there's no sign that the approach has lost any luster over time.  If you want to check out a really solid article about the colors of Magic and their real-world implications, you'll probably want to click here to see Duncan Sabien's treatise "The MTG Color Wheel (& Humanity)."  It's a great read and worth some re-reads!

The MTG team has taken a lot of care over the years to give their in-universe magic wielders the trappings of fantasy lore that best fit the colors.  Blue magic-users are almost always wizards, for example, while black mages might be wizards, but they also could be clerics or warlocks.  This taxonomy reached an apex of symmetry in the expansion Strixhaven: School of Mages in 2021.  The set is based upon the happenings at a university of magic -- the titular Strixhaven -- which is divided into five colleges, each based upon one of MTG's pairs of "enemy" colors (the ones that oppose each other on the wheel above).

Furthermore, the nature of each college highlights the tension between its constituent colors on an axis that makes them "enemies."  The red-blue college, for instance, is Prismari, focused on the arts.  Students and faculty here may take a very blue approach, working to understand the elements of their craft and how they interact to produce a reaction in an audience.  Or...they might be very red, concerned only with passionately expressing the feelings that drive them to create.

It's a pretty cool setup.  And since the set is filled with mages of all five colors and some mixtures thereof, the MTG team firmly divided up the "character classes" (creature types) of the cards by color, with each color getting one term to describe the practitioners of its magic.  Here is one of the cycles of the set, the Pledgemages...each one is a species associated with one color, and the class of mage associated with its partner:

From a Scryfall search

And I love this.  It satisfies some of the fundamental cravings of my neurodivergence.  It's just so round...so symmetrical...so clean!

And so...that's what I want to bring into the Monstrous Heartbreaker's Mage.  I'm already working on a general class model where each hits a point of specialization at level 2.  For the Mage, second level will be when a player determines if their character is actually a druid, a shaman, a warlock, a wizard, or a cleric.  It shouldn't be too difficult to assign each spell one or more sources of power according to the D&D classes that cast it.  I just need to figure out exactly what to call these types of magic.  Right now, I'm working with...

Wizard (blue) - Arcane or Metaphysical

Warlock (black) - Eldritch or Diabolic

Cleric (white) - Divine or Holy

Druid (green) - Nature maybe?  (Not sure I like Primal...)

Shaman (red) - This is the toughest one to me.  Elemental?  Emotional?  Passion?  I'm very open to ideas!!

So hopefully, when next I post on the heartbreaker, I'll have this terminology figured out and have a class laid out for building...!

Geeky SKAturday: "Keasbey Nights" live by Catch 22, plus the Keasbey Knight for Agents of SKA

A very pleasant Geeky SKAturday to all of you reading this!  Today's entry will be a little different; rather than focusing on a new release for 2025, I want to share a recent live recording of an old song that I've just uploaded to YouTube.  Skip to the video if you just want the good stuff (although I'll admit that the audio quality, from my phone, isn't the best).  If you're up for reading some background...

First, I will also admit that in the early days of my fascination with ska, I didn't give much attention to the band Catch 22.  As my interest in the genre grew, I largely sought out more traditional bands, and they just never ended up very squarely on my radar.

Image from their Facebook page

It was only after starting grad school (a little later in life than is typical) that I began talking with the youngsters around me about ska and realizing that the band Streetlight Manifesto (formed by some members of Catch 22) is a HUGE player in the ska scene for the generation younger than me.  It took some time, but I finally started giving Streetlight...and eventually Catch 22...enough attention to recognize why they have been such influential forces in ska's Third Wave.

Now...I won't even begin to get into the dynamics between Streetlight Manifesto and Catch 22, both of which are still performing...mostly because I wouldn't be able to write with any knowledge of the subject.  If there was ever any negativity between them, it doesn't seem to be a part of their current narratives, especially considering that multi-instrumentalist (and music teacher/band director) Jamie Egan, after being part of the Catch 22 contingent that formed Streetlight, has since returned to the ranks of the original band (and now shares the stage with his son Connor, which is pretty cool).  The question of the bands' dynamics definitely comes to mind, though, when you consider that guitarist/vocalist Tomas Kalnoky left Catch 22 after one studio album, Keasbey Nights (all songs written by him), then would go on to re-record it with Streetlight Manifesto.

Which brings us to this recording.  I've been lucky over the past couple of years to catch...er, Catch 22 live a couple times.  (I guess I haven't mentioned yet that they're a New Jersey band, so that prospect is a lot easier now that I live up here.)  This recording is from a show they played with the Slackers and Crazy & the Brains on April 11 of this year, at the Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, NJ.  (You can go here for a video showing a little overview of the evening, including documentation of my skinny ass moving almost in time with the beat.)

Here they are with the title track from Keasbey Nights...

And...because the recording quality there wasn't exactly great, let me also share the band's original studio recording of the song...

I really believe this is one of the classics of modern ska.

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As I fall into way too easily, I've already rambled way more than I intended about today's music, and I still want to talk about how this fits into the RPG adventures of the Agents of SKA, who travel the streams of time to defend the multiverse from evil.  Without hinting at more detail than I'm able to articulate at the moment, I'd like for this song to serve as the basis for one of the setting's character classes: the Keasbey Knight (with thanks going out to whoever it is who has this as a username that I saw online, inspiring its use in the game).  I see the Keasbey Knight as a half caster and the champion of an ideal, much like a Paladin or Ranger.  But...the champion of what?  Well...that'll be based on the lyrics.  So let me share those here (courtesy of LyricFind via Google):

It was the summer of '95 (so what?!),

In the backyard, shaving the old plies.

Feeling so strong, something went wrong.

Straight into my finger, what a stinger, it was so long.

I still remember that day, like the day that I said that I swear,

"I'll never hurt myself again",

But it seems that I'm deemed to be wrong, to be wrong, to be wrong.

So I've got to keep holding on

They always played a slow song.

When they come for me, I'll be sitting at my desk,

With a gun in my hand, wearing a bulletproof vest

Singing "my, my, my, how the time does fly,

When you know you're going to die by the end of the night."

I still remember when we were young and fragile then.

No one gave a shit about us because times were tougher then.

Feeling so good, cruising the hood; straight into the real world,

Rich kids never understood. But I don't care.

I can fade away to anywhere.

Don't stop because you might get dropped

And if you do who's going to pick you up.

Well I won't, they always played a slow song.

So...yeah!  The class is based on that!  Although...well, maybe it goes without saying that there doesn't seem to be universal agreement on exactly what the song is all about.  However...I think we can run with it!  I mean...I'm a Gen Xer, a part of the grunge generation, so I've certainly listened to (and sung) my share of impenetrable lyrics.  There's something different about this experience, though.  Whereas I'm very familiar with the reaction of, "Well, Kurt, I have no idea what you mean there...but you're right, the world is fucked up!"...this song just seems more nostalgic and...dare I say, hopeful...??  (Eh...maybe not that last one...but still...)

Keasbey is a community here in Jersey, by the way.  And I think there's a certain feeling to this song...of the friendships of youth, the necessity of perseverance even in relatively normal circumstances of growing up, and of coming to terms with promises both fulfilled and unfulfilled.

But...I could be full of shit.  Hopefully it'll be a fun class to play, anyway!